


Mindless Self Prostitution

by SachiPachiMachi



Category: Mindless Self Indulgence (Band)
Genre: Band Fic, Character Death, Gay, I Don't Even Know, I'm Bad At Tagging, Lesbian Character, Multi, Phone Sex, Pre-Band, Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:34:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22774966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SachiPachiMachi/pseuds/SachiPachiMachi
Summary: Please don’t take this serious. It’s a dumb fanfic of lynz and Vanessa being gay. Jimmy and Steve being also gay. And kitty being kitty.Also the REAL version of this fanfic is on wattpad because drew funky lil visuals for it. My wattpad username is @/SugarBitzs :3 ty
Relationships: Chantal Claret/Jimmy Urine, Lindsey Ballato/Vanessa Y.T, Steve Righ?/Jimmy Urine
Comments: 1
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter 1

Just like Giorno Giovanna, Jimmy Urine has a dream. And that dream is to make the worst band in the entire world. But the problem is, How is this stinky piss baby gonna start? Well Obviously, He needs so band mates. So he got his brother and some random guy he found in the Denny's named Steve to help in his demo. However, They need some money. But Jimmy being the nicest and sweetest lad in the century of ever, instead of whoring his brother and some guy named Steve out in the streets, Jimmy HIMSELF will go out be stripper and shake his ass. What a nice guy :). 

So jimmy goes everywhere in the mall with the all the money left he has in his pocket (and his brothers wallet ) and goes to every slutty store he can think of. He was walking around the Spencers mindlessly, So many thoughts were rushing in his spiky head. What's his stage name gonna be? What's his prices? Does he have to practice being a slut? Before continuing his endless thoughts he bumps into a blonde girl in the toy section and bonked both of thier heads anime style. They both put their hands on thier head and groan in pain"You fucking thunder cunt" she says while rubbing her head to get rid of the pain. "Well Watch your fuckin head next time you pissy cunt" jimmy said doing the same thing she's doing. They finally look at each other and the blonde girl busts into a laughing. "AHAHAHAHHA YOU LOOK LIKE A DISEASED RAT" she says laughing like she did sumthin.

Jimmy was FUMING. FRIKIN ANGY. How DARE this slutty version of bubbles from the power puff girls call him a diseased rat??? He hears that a lot at home so why does he need it from her??? He was about to say his best comeback of all time. However, a tall woman with black hair, almost Jimmys height and she almost looks like she could beat you to death walks up to the blonde girl and holds her back. "Vanessa,, Darling,, Please dont choke a bitch in the Spencers agian" said the lady in a calming yet sultry voice to Vanessa. Vanessa scrunched her face and sighed. "You're right Lindsey, you're always right" vannesa says blushing. Lindsey brings Vanessa in close and stares into her big stupid anime eyes.

After 10 mins of weird sexual lesbian tension and staring into each other's eyes. Lindsey FINALLY says something. "Now,,Be a good girl and apologize to this man that smells musty grandpa piss" says LynZ Turing to jimmy. Vanessa rolls her eyes and sighs and walks a bit close to jimmy. "Sorry or whatever" she says crossing her arms and looking at the floor. 

Honestly jimmy doesn't give a shit anymore, he had to stand there quietly waiting for these eccentric lesbians to stop looking at each other. But he has bigger fish fry, He needs money, a bass guitarist and a drummer. "It's whatever I guess" he says. "What are you doing in a Spencers anyway??" Says Lindsey puzzled. "Oh! Uhh,,, I just need,,, something? Just a lil slutty thing you know for the uhhhh,,, kids- NO NO NO I mean my husband. :)))" he says putting his hands in a ball while awkwardly smiling at them. Lindsey and Vanessa both have a blank face. "Your,,, husband?" They both said looking skeptical at him

NEXT TIME ON MINDLESS SELF PROSTITUTION...  
WILL JIMMY BECOME A SLUT? WILL STEVE FINALLY FINISH HIS MEAL AT DENNYS? HOW CAN WE MEASURE LYNZ AND VANESSAS GAY ENERGY? WILL I THE CREATOR OF THIS BOOK BE BLOCKED BY JIMMY URINE?? ( ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ maybe if I played my cards right ) FIND OUT THIS BIG OL' MYSTERY NEXT TIME


	2. STEVE X JIMMY Part 1 ( I fear no god )

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stev and jimmyb, waht they gonna do?

Jimmy being the almighty god that he is, summoned Steve out of thin air. Nobody questioned how he did it, because that's just how jimmy gets down and if you ever question his omnipotent powers he banishes you to the shadow realm for all eternity with no escape and you'll be forced to walk through the living hell of the shadow realm with its horrible creations that some cruel god put there as some sort of unusual cruel punishment for these poor creatures that are already under so much internal pain...

Anyways, jimmy puts his arm on Steve's shoulder and rubbed it. Steve was kinda uncomfortable but ya know different shit same toilet to him nowadays. "This is my loving husband,,uh,,s-Steve right? OH yeah Steve! My bad darling~" Jimmy says as he tries to show off his "husband" to these judgmental Spencer's lesbians. LynZ and Vanessa sighed. Nobody can top their lesbian prowess and energy.  
But then again, Jimmy is getting distracted with this whole 'I must show off to these lesbians to prove I'm gay but in reality I'm not that gay' debacle. "Ok this is completely random, buttttt do you know how to play the bass?" Jimmy asked to the wise lesbians while still holding Steve. LynZ and Vanessa both nodded.

FUCK. He only needs one :( and of course jimmy is the worst at decision making. "Can y'all like,, do rock, paper, scissors for the part or something" says jimmy sadly. Lynz and Vanessa both looked at each other and shrugged. After 200,000 tries and bathroom break, Vanessa wins. Ofcourse she has to fuckin shows off to EVERYONE in the Spencers. Smh what a bottom. But jimmy feels really bad for LynZ not winning, so he had a REALLY REALLY great idea :0 He'll bring her in the band like just in case if Vanessa gets sick or whatever. Nice thinking Jimmy! Ya done it again! :D  
Jimmy explains his idea to LynZ and Vanessa and they argued back and forth at jimmy and then at themselves. Jimmy barely remembered what they were talking about so he just threw his number at them and walked away while still holding steve.

They FINALLY left the Spencers and walked around the mall. Steve slaps Jimmys hand that's on his shoulder and then proceeds to wrap his arm around Jimmys waist. JIMMY WAS SHOOK and kinda turned on??? He was close enough to Steve where he can smell his cologne. I hope this doesn't awake anything in jimmy. He's like SUPER straight. I MEAN IT! He likes boobies and pussy just like any other straight guy.

Steve sighs and turns to jimmy. "Do you like,, wanna go to the Denny's to get a bite to eat?" he said. Jimmy FUCKING LOVES Denny's. Sure a whore tried to suck his dick for a stack of pancakes but that's just the charm of the place. "HELLZ YEAH!" Jimmy exclaims as his eyes lit up. Steve grins for a minute seeing him being all happy and then goes back to his usual looks of being stoic. Jimmy and Steve went on their merry lil way to the Denny's.

NEXT TIME ON MINDLESS SELF PROSTITUTION,,,  
WHAT WILL HAPPEN AT THE DENNYS?  
WILL JIMMY ORDER THE FORTNITE BURGER?  
IS STEVE GAY? WILL THE PANCAKE WHORE COME BACK? WHO KNOWS ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	3. DENNYZ IS JUS WILD LIKE DAT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On god, I could fuck up some pancakes rn but ya know dats me. UwU

Jimmy hopped in Steves car like a child going into a candy van and drove to the nearest Denny's close to the mall. Steves car was so weird. He had a frog umbrella and tons of clothes in the back & inside the car had a weird smell, not a bad smell but not a good smell either. After like, 12 mins of small talk and slurs later, they made it to the Denny's. They both got out and walked through the entrance holding each other's hand. (Smh gay people.) They get a table and wait for their waiter. Jimmy kept on looking at Steve all seductively. He doesn't know why but Steve do be lookin kinda cute.

After how many minutes of weird gay tension, their order is finally here. Jimmy is FUCKING STARVING. He licked his lips and some drool drips down his chin. He ordered pancakes with berries inside with whipped cream on top because he just quirky like dat XD. He drowns his pancakes in blueberry syrup because the blueberry syrup slaps. Jimmy goes to TOWN on them pancakes because he hasn't ate a real meal since his cousins Quinceanera that was like 5 years ago.

Steve doesn't know why but he's HORNY. Jimmy just looked so cute for some reason?? The way jimmy licks his lips. The way he looked so cute when he was eating even though it looks like a wild animal eating road kill at the side of the road. Steve was too distracted he couldn't even touch his food ( smh there's children dying in Africa Steve). "J-jimmy, you mind if I ask you something?" Steve asks fidgeting his fingers under the table. "Sure fat boy X3" the twink replies licking off all the stuff off of his face. "Ok I'm not gonna beat around the bush because I'm not pussy, k?" He says directly lookin at jimmy even though jimmy was not paying that much attention. Jimmy nods as he's finishing his pancake.

"I want to fuck you in the bathroom. Right now"  
Steve says without cracking a smile or a chuckle.

Jimmy stops chewing and his eyes widen. His fetus brain can't handle the information given to him. I mean jimmy likes Steve too but he didn't know he was gonna move this fast. And besides, Steve is FUCKING HUMONGOUS and Jimmy is this little tiny manlet. How the fuck is he gonna handle him without dying?? But. BUT. Jimmy isn't gonna pussy out like some bitch.

"I mean, sure you can fuck me if you want. But I'm not doing this for fr-" he gets interrupted by Steve throwing 5 $100 bills. "Will that be enough?" Steve said with his BIG DICK ENERGY just radiating. Jimmy is HARD from that top move Steve just pulled like DAMN PAPI AIGHT.  
"UGGGhHhH,, Fine I'll do it" jimmby says as he puffs up his cheeks while blushing.

Jimmy takes the 5 $100 bills Steve threw and stuffs it down his shirt even though he doesn't have boobs wtf jimmy smh. "Alright fat boy, show me whatcha got" he says with a stupid grin on his face.

NEXT TIEM ON MSP,,  
WTF HAPPENED TO LYNZ X VANESSA SUBPLOT?  
WILL JIMMY GET DESTROYED BY STEVES HUGE DICK?  
HOW MUCH MONEY DOES STEVE REALLY HAVE AND WHAT DOES HE DO FOR A LIVING???


	4. OMFG THESE BITCHES GAY,, GOOD FOR THEM,,, GOOD FOR THEM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy pride month gays

Steve follows Jimmy into the bathroom and Jimmys getting all nervous. I mean sure it's funny to make jokes about sucking dick and getting fucked in the ass but damn, He didn't know he was gonna do it at a Denny's of all places. And besides this is his first time doing it. They stepped in the bathroom and it was the worst bathroom they ever stepped in their lives. If they were ever gonna overdose on drugs in a bathroom, this would not be the bathroom. They looked for the cleanest bathroom stall they could find and they picked the one that had weird graffiti inside and a glory hole that had weird stains and blood around it. Where the fuck did god go?

"Ok this is your first time, right?" Steve says as he tries to find a condom. Jimmy stumbles over his words so he just decides to do incoherent mumbling as he stares at a cockroach skittering across the floor. Steve couldn't find the condoms in his stupid pockets, there probably in his OTHER pockets in his OTHER jacket. But Steve is a fucking chad so he decides to just do it raw.

Jimmy can tell Steves ready because Steves staring at him with "I wanna fuck you" eyes so hard. Jimmy obviously knows he's a stinky bottom so he musters the courage to sit on his knees on the DENNYS BATHROOM FLOOR infront of Steve. Jimmy regrets accepting to do it in the bathroom, especially at a Denny's Bathroom of all places but I mean hey, he just got paid $500 dollars to do the job so I mean,, It's not gay if it's for pay. Right? RIGHT?!?

Jimmy drums is fingers around the guitarists crotch giving his usual smug look. Jimmys fingers work their magic and unbutton Steves pants and then gets slapped in the face with his dick. Jimmy is now dead inside. He's literally on his knees, trying not smell the pure ass from the bathroom and now how has a huge dick on his cheek. He cant pussy out now. He gives tiny kisses and licks along the side of Steves cock and then puts the tip of the head in his mouth and swirls his tongue around.

Steve gave out low groans while trying to say Jimmys name. Jimmy thinks he's fuckin nailing it right now so he continues. But the problem about sucking dick is,, that it tastes like shit. LIKE IT WAS SO FUNNY MAKING JOKES ABOUT IT BUT DAMN THIS FUCKING SUCKS. Jimmy is lucky that some of the blueberry syrup can kinda hide the taste of cock. And out of blue, Steve grabs a chunk of Jimmys hair and starts thrusting his hips, basically face fucking him. "J-Jimmy,, your mouth feels soooo good,," he says in a breathless voice. Jimmy doesn't respond because he has a bad case of cock in his mouth.

Steve finishes in Jimmys mouth and lets out some huff and puffs while trying to fix his orange hair. Jimmys eyes are half lidded and some cum drips down from his chin. After a 2 min break because that shit was hard work, Steve swiftly picks him up and plops the lil twink on the toilet. Steve lifts up Jimmys legs and rips a huge hole in his red and black stockings. Jimmy is sOOooOoOooOo ready he can't wait to feel Steves hard dick inside him. 

"Y-you ready?"  
"Steve,, What the fuck do you think? Just fuck me already fat boy. I WANT IT ROUGH. I JUST WANNA GET FUCKED UP. JUST MESS UP MY GUTS AT THIS POINT PLZ"  
Steve rolls his eyes trying to hold his urge to slap the shit of him and slowly enters his cock into Jimmys ass. He lets out those weird yaoi moans and grips on his skirt tight. With every powerful thrust Steve did, Jimmy moaned uncontrollably which made Steve go even harder and harder.  
Steve used one of his hands to slip under Jimmys skirt and started jerking him off.

Jimmy loses it and wraps his arms around Steves back while digging his painted jagged nails into his back. He's probably bleeding at this point (wtf jimmy you stupid whore??!?!) Jimmy tried telling Steve he's about to cum but he was whiney to complete a comprehensible sentence for him to understand.

Jimmys dumb whiney ass came on Steves last good shirt because the rest of his shirts smelled like smegma and shame. And Steve follows behind, Cumming a huge load inside of Jimmys tight ass. Jimmy lets out a long moan and sits there, still in his post orgasm with his eyes still rolled back. Steve looks at what he did to him and it was,, BREATHTAKING. He wish he could take a picture of it and hang it on his wall at home.

He fixes him self up and helps jimmy to stand up. His knees buckle and cum drips out of his ass. He grips on to Steves hoodie and they both walk out the Denny's. While they were walking to the exit, Jimmy was still dripping out cum from his ass and multiple people tripped and fell on the cum. 15 injured and 10 dead. When will the police serve justice and finally arrest these 2 bastards instead of their usual routine of beating minorities???

NEXT TIME ON MSP  
WHAT WERE THOSE LESBIANS DOING WHILE JIMMY WAS GETTING HIS HOLE RESIZED?  
WILL THE POLICE CATH THESE HORNY WAR CRIMINALS?  
WHEN ARE THEY GONNA DO MUSIC?  
WILL I EVER MAKE MORE CHAPTERS?   
WHO KNOWS AND MOST WILL BE REVEALED NEXT TIME


End file.
